The Return of the Dandelion Slayer

While the recent weather has not exactly been conducive for outdoor summer activities (unless of course you enjoy frolicking in driving sheets of rain and dodging bolts of lightning), it has been incredibly helpful in the resurrection of our dandelion and clover-choked lawn.

Our work in progress ...

As I mentioned earlier in the week, after one chemical bomb application of weed eliminator by the Dandelion Slayer less than four weeks ago, and Jim and I following the maintenance plan to the letter, our lawn is almost completely without the offending weeds.

Sir William the Dandelion Slayer returned to our castle grounds again today, timing his visit perfectly between the sporadic rain showers. As you can see, the lawn has taken a 180º turn from where we started barely a month ago. Sir William agreed that the lawn looked impressively better, sprayed magical lawn potion once again, and bestowed a puppy treat upon Buck Buck the Magnificent prior to his departure.

And as I stared out the window and watched the next thunderstorm roll in, I wondered if it were true that the nitrogen in lightning really did make the grass greener after a storm.

The official Landscaping 101 answer is a qualified ‘yes’ via a quick chemistry lesson:

Electrical energy emitted by lightning is strong enough to break apart nitrogen, which makes up almost eighty percent of the Earth’s atmosphere. These broken nitrogen bonds immediately link to oxygen to form nitrogen dioxide, which easily dissolves in water to create nitric acid, which then finally breaks down to form nitrates.

Nitrate-filled raindrops then fall from the sky and are absorbed by the soil, helping boost the growth of chlorophyll which gives grass its green color.

The two questions yet unanswered quantitatively by science is how much the electricity in lightning affects the green color of the grass; specifically, 1) how much nitrate actually forms during any given storm, and 2) how much nitrate is captured by raindrops and reaches the ground versus the amount of nitrates that are formed and simply blow away before they can ever be captured in a rain drop and reach the ground.

Quantitative science be damned; my positive firsthand experience tells me the recent Thor-like bolts of lightning coupled with Sir William the Dandelion Slayer’s magic elixir have joined to create a lush lawn I am no longer ashamed of.

And once it stops raining, I might even be able to go outside and walk on it barefoot without fear of sticker weeds between my toes.