I never know what to expect when I take my daughter and her bestie to the mall, because I’m never sure which daughter is traveling with me: Happy Jordan, nutty Jordan, sassy Jordan or a combination of all three.
So to make it completely fair, Jordan never knows when I will break out into song or worse yet, my pageant mom personality, ala “Toddlers and Tiaras”, and start cussing her out in public for not practicing her routines and that only winners who wear crowns will ever be happy.
Like today when I was waiting in line and not paying attention to the fact that I was singing aloud to the song pumping out of the speakers: “When I’m walkin’ I strut my stuff, man I’m so strung out. I’m high as a kite I just might stop to check you out…”
Jordan and Kendall were too busy studying the jelly bracelets to notice I was singing and using their heads as drums to bang out the beat. “Oh my God!” the young clerk exclaimed. “Coolest mom of the year award to you for knowing this Violent Femmes’ song. Guys, your mom seriously rocks out for real.”
Thank you for making me feel like it was time for me to check out the AARP website for better car insurance rates, darling young girl. “Actually, I’m surprised you know this song. This is total eighties and from my time, and should be an oldie to you,” I laughed. “But I will take the cool mom compliment.”
We sat and ate lunch in the food court in total silence, as I realized none of us had really had anything to eat all day and it was already way past noon. We all quietly pointed-out the wildest tattoos and craziest clothes combinations, and looked at all the other moms to decide which new haircut or color would look best on me.
After Jordan and Kendall helped me score the perfect print to grace the space over our foyer desk, I spent the majority of the afternoon perusing the clearance racks for the right sizes, colors and prices, looking for the perfect pieces the girls will probably save for going back to school.
Our ride home gave the girls plenty of time to hatch a sleepover plan, which then gave Jamie equal amount of time home alone with Jim to plot a sleepover plan with his friend, CJ. Within a few hours, the house was filled with the thundering footsteps of four children racing to the table for pizza, all who sneakily developed a late-night game that involved water balloons and launching them from Jordan’s bedroom window.
Because let’s face it, how many more 95º evenings are we going to enjoy this summer …
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