A Former House Guest Returns

She’s fat, she’s ugly and she smells. Her demeanor is mean and cranky. She keeps strange hours and comes and goes whenever she pleases, with zero regard for those around her. We thought she had finally moved out a few months back, but no, oh joy, she has blessed us with her presence and moved back in to our home.

Pita (pain in the ass) Possum has lived under our deck off and on for the past two years, and drives us and specifically our dog crazy with her ‘visit as she pleases’ attitude.

We gather she is relatively old or at least wise, as she doesn’t seem to be bothered by the various tricks we have tried to drive her away from our home. And just before we reach our wit’s end and resort to a live bait trap, each and every time, she moves on to darker, danker pastures.

While it has looked incredibly ugly, we pulled large sections of latticework off of our lower deck per animal control’s suggestion, thinking our dog’s presence would scare Pita away. It worked for a short while, but before we could get the latticework back up, Pita sauntered back in to her home away from home.

To make matters more challenging, Pita sleeps directly under our back door just off of our kitchen, and every so often you can look through the slats of the deck and see her beady little eyes staring back up at you.

Pita the Possum

Not only is her close presence creepy (seriously, this critter is ugly), but it also makes it difficult to use many of the existing pest deterrents as they are offensive to my family as well: Ammonia, pungent garlic, moth balls, and/or a blend of predator urines, such as fox, coyote, wolf, and bobcat. Yummy. Breakfast, anyone?

Jim had a feeling that Pita had come back as there was a funky scent in the air late last night when he let Buck outside. After completing his business, Buck insisted on patrolling the perimeter of the deck and attempted to slip underneath where the latticework was still unattached. While Jim caught Buck before he made it very far, Jim failed to tell me that Pita might be back in town for the holiday weekend.

So where did Buck go this morning? Why, directly under the muddy, smelly deck to welcome back Pita, of course. Thankfully, she was not there to receive the warm and fuzzy welcome, but Buck made it a point to roll around in her sleep spot, a dog’s version of leaving a note to say “Sorry I missed you…”

After Buck’s triple dip in the bathtub, I contacted animal control for different advice regarding how to get rid of our unwanted visitor once and for all. As possums hate light, a volunteer suggested pointing bright lights under our deck for the next couple of nights to keep Pita away. Once we determine she is officially gone, re-attach the woodwork to keep her out forever more.

If this doesn’t work, hopefully the loud party guests and louder fireworks entertainment at Jordan’s birthday party on Monday will drive Pita to pack her bags and waddle off into the sunset once and for all.