Dralle Laundry Service

It was a business we didn’t know we owned, yet it was becoming increasingly popular with each passing day.

As the sorted laundry piles grew in height and width on Easter Monday, Jim and I became confused: The ratio of days passed to clothes worn was completely disproportionate in volume. Quite simply, there were just too damn many dirty clothes.

As Jim and I work from home, our wardrobes for corporate headquarters are rather simple and casual, and it’s not as if we’re going into the coal mines every day. Deskwork can be dull, but hardly dusty. Jordan and Jamie, while their lives are very active, don’t exactly roll around in the mud before returning home in their t-shirts, hoodies and jeans.

There were enough towels in one pile to require a three-way load split, enough jeans and dark t-shirts to split in half, and a load of brights that filled the wash tub to the brim. Don’t even get me started on the almost whites. Where the hell were all these clothes coming from? Were we taking in the neighbors’ laundry for some extra cash? Had Jordan and Jamie added another business in lieu of their lemonade stand due to the inclement weather?

And then it hit us: A combination of costume changes performed by Jordan (her after school wear, her pre-shower wear and then her pajamas, all worn for less than thirty minutes and then thrown into the hamper or onto her closet floor), and clean laundry that never quite made it back into the dresser drawers because it was easier to just toss it back in the hamper.

In order to scale back on the new family business, punishments shall be meted-out after new loads of laundry are properly put away under direct supervision, costume changes have been banned until further notice, and spontaneous pet washing shall be kept to a tidy minimum.

And the innumerable towels, you wonder? Well, first there is the post-school soak in the bathtub with a slew of Bath and Body Works products where you use two towels – one to wipe the floor and one to dry off with. Then four more showers for our family, a spare towel or two for in-bedroom manicures and pedicures, a few towels to dry dishes, some beach towels to make a tent for stuffed animals at a weekly sleepover and then the spontaneous washing and drying of the family pets and there you have it – one hundred various towels in hampers and baskets throughout the house.

So until further notice (or until something furry and muddy rushes back into the house), the Dralle Laundry Service is officially on hiatus. I bet our electric meter visibly stopped spinning …